So, a couple of weeks ago I discovered that I could jog 7 km (4 miles) before breakfast. This was obviously a milestone for me as it is an incredibly practical route for me and increases my number of steps in a day greatly.
However, a couple of days later I realized that my fitness abilities and joint abilities are not exactly aligned, as I in some way fucked up my ankle and had to practically limp home one day.
Fast forward to a few days ago and my ankle is feeling fine. So I warm up with some hard, but short, elliptical work-outs for a couple of days, and then with some light walking (too, in and from the mall to be perfectly honest. 9 000 steps though, so, what up?).
Then today at 4 am I set out to jog once again. Not only do I jog, but when I come to the hill leading up to the bridge, what do I do? You know, just what any other reasonable human being recovering from an ankle injury would do. Sprint up the fucking hill. Then proceed to jog across the entire bridge.
5 minutes later the pain hits me so hard, and I`m like “Omg, I have to turn”. Every step was just so painful. So, I turn.
And this whole walk-jog, I have been listening to the Julianne Hough episode on Lewis Howes podcast “The school of greatness” and she`s talking about being a young dancer and the whole perfectionist thing. Which makes me think about ballerinas, the only dancers I care about because they`re amazing, interesting and too me the embodiment of perfection. Above all I admire their insane work ethic. They don`t step down no matter what.
So I thought to myself “Zoë, a ballerina would never quit like this over some ankle problem, there is no blood, no bones sticking out, you`ll be fine”. So I figured that even if today wasn`t the day were I would jog that route again, it would at leat be the day were I would walk it.
And you know what? It took forever and honestly my leg got a little fucked up from the weird way I was walking, but I finished that walk. Pluss, I got some added steps from when I initallly turned and walked back.
And eventually my ancle didn`t even hurt as much.
The lesson that I took from this?
Sometimes the best way to get back where you were or get to were you want to be, is to take a step back. It can be insanely frustrating. But what`s even more frustrating than spending double the time on a route, is not being able to take it at all because your hybris makes you push yourself too far and puts your recovery back. Listening to your body is so important. If your feeling pain, there is a reason. Your body isn`t pranking you, it`s giving you important signals. And I feel like this applies to so much more. For example, if you`re feeling super anxious at work or you feel depressed when you reatreat to your appartment at the end of the day. Maybe take a step back in your career chain and see if you want to go with option b? Everything in life doesn`t have to be lineare. Maybe your living room is painted in a colour that`s draining your energy? Maybe you should get a dog? Whatever is going on in your life, take time to check in with yourself. And don`t just feel the feelings and move on. Make change where change is needed. You are worth investing time and energy in.
That`s all for this little rant. I am just so happy that I actually went through with this walk and managed to not jog even when my ankle started too feel more ok, and even more happy that I had a mini-awakening, haha. I hope that this resonates with some of you. I really feel like anything you can do for yourself, you should do for yourself.
Have a great day,
and love yourself!